Giant Duckies, Unite!
by Petal Breeze
Summary: My insane parody continues in Chapter 3: Giant Duck and the Acorn.
1. Ducks

RAIN ON ME  
  
  
Waii! My name's Casey this is my first attempt at a fan fiction place, I've done stories on PKMN two years at a complete the story place. Don't anymore, obviously. I'm only doing POKEMON ugh cuz I am not tuned in well enough with any other anime. However, lol, I'm quite good with parodies, muwahahah  
  
Oh and BTW it's PG 13 only because of the very frightening nature of the story, hahah riiite.  
  
  
***  
Officer Jenny pulled the two to the side of the road.  
"Can't you tell? The signs say clearly that there can NOT BE any people out here past 6:00 PM!"  
"Oh please," Said a person in a disguise who looked extremely similar to Jesse, "I don't see any signs anywhere."  
*there are so many signs that some have even been placed on the car*  
"Well, I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn you in!"  
"Hah! Never!" Exclaimed James (dressed in a duck costume). "Hahaha! You will never be able to catch us!"  
Jesse pulled off her disguise.  
"James! What the fuck are you doing in a duck outfit?"  
"Hah, JESSE! I'm not wearing a duck outfit! You see, I AM a duck! Yes, indeed! Quack Quack! I'm quite the handsome duck aren't I?"  
"But you're uglier than me," said Jesse.   
"exactly! Look at my duck powers! I can get us away from this Officer Jenny in NO TIME!"  
*Officer Jenny is standing in the background, o.O*  
"What's your plan?" Asked Jesse, irritated.  
"Well, on the count of one, we run!"  
"Run! What the heck?"  
"Ah, you see? If we can run away then we can get out of here! Hahah! Witness my duck power! My intelligence is too much for you!!!"  
Officer Jenny backs away.  
"You know what," She said shakily, "I'm sure I can just let you.. Go on your little way…"  
"MY DUCK POWERS ARE WINNING! WHEEEEH!!" James yelled and started jumping on Officer Jenny's police car, then suddenly grabbed Jesse and ran away.  
"Um, right," Said Officer Jenny, confused. "That was definitely weird."  
  
****  
  
James put Jesse down.  
"My duck powers are invincible! MuwahAAHAH!"  
"Right. You can stop now. Officer Jenny's gone, you scared her away…"  
James stopped, and said, "She fears the duck!"  
"I know," Jesse replied. "So do I. Now, as I was saying before, if we want to get into the city we can dig a hole. But not just any hole, we can-"  
"LOOK! IT'S A PIKACHU!" Exclaimed James, suddenly running towards a piece of garbage and picking up the empty can lovingly. "We've finally found it! The boss will be proud of our Duck Powers!"  
"What? I don't have any duck powers?" Said Jesse.  
"Are you sure?" Asked James. "Maybe you're a goldfish!"  
"I don't think I'm a goldfish Jamese. I think YOU, however, are.. Um… *ahem* insane."  
"Oooh, insane! I'm in saneness! Haha! Sounds like a Chinese food! Heey, I'm hungry!"  
"Oh my gawd," Groaned Jesse. "I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere… With a duck."  
"But I'm a special duck," James pouted.  
Jesse sighed. "Yes you are, James. Yes you are." 


	2. Brock meets Duck

James sat quietly, sipping Raman.  
"He's finally shut up," jesse told herself. "It's a miracle."  
She peeked behind the edge of her tent. Sure enough, he seemed to finally be somewhat satisfied.  
What a relief, Jesse decided, crawling into her tent. Maybe she could get some shut eye.  
...wrong.  
"JESSE!" Screeched James. "Quack quack quack quack Giovanni!"  
"whaT?" jesse opened her right eye. "What now?"  
"Jesse's feathery hand held the phone in front of her.  
"get out of my tent," she growled, slapping james.  
"Ooh my feather!" James exclaimed.   
"Hello?... Oh, hello Boss... No, we haven't caught it... yet... No sir... Yessir, right away." Jesse turned to James. "He wants to talk to you."  
"Ooh!" James grabbed the phone. "It's a phone!"  
Jesse's eyes bugged out. "No! You can't talk to Boss! No!! We'll lose our job-!"  
"Hello? This is the Boss... Oh I know you! You own a pink tutu... Of course I'm not crazy... quack! That's right, QUACK YOU!... I don't care if I'm fired! Fweee!"  
"YOURE FIRED!" Jessed screeched. "Gaaah!!!"  
*(James stomps on the phone.)*  
"QuackQuack!"  
"James, you ARE insane!"  
"Duck powers!" he exclaimed. "Let's start a circus!"  
"Why would we want to do that?"  
"Because we can dance in tutus!"  
"Why would we want to do THAT?" Asked Jesse.  
"Well, you might not be able to, because you're a goldfish." James cocked his head. "Yes, a very fat goldfish."  
"DID YOU JUST CALL ME FAT?!?!" Jesse screamed, grabbing a mallet and bonking james in the head.  
"We can dig holes!" James smiled. "I'm invincible! Duck Duck Duck!!!"  
"...What?" Jesse asked, and put her hands over her face. ("I've got to get away from this place...")  
*****  
Ash was happily eating a hamburger (and pikachu, its' own bottle of Heinz 57 Ketchup; and misty, a piece of cucumber, and brock was eating some pikachu food), when all of the sudden jesse stumbles across the camp.  
"Awww," Ash complained. "This would've been a good episode if you didn't have to ruin everything again."  
"..." Jesse grappled for words. "Heeelp!!!" She croaked.  
"Pi-Pikachu?" Asked Pikachu. "Do you want some ketchup? I think there's some coffee in Brock's tent."  
"Pikachu! You can talk!" Exclaimed Ash.  
"Wow. That took you a while." Brock grumbled. "I can't believe I'm stuck hanging around with such an idiot."  
Pikachu nodded. "Don't look at me... It wasn't my idea, really!"  
Misty sighed. "This diet is really getting to me. Ever since Ash stole all our food and has hidden it from us, it's been such a pain."  
"I thought you were on a diet," Pikachu said.  
"Eating THIS MUCH?" exclaimed Misty.  
"Okay!" Jesse rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry that you're anorexic. But if you don't mind, I'm still in need of HELP!"  
"How come?" asked Brock. "You look fine to me, just a bit bruised, gasping for air,and stuff."  
"I'm trying to stay away from James," Explained Jesse. "He's gone crazy."  
"James has always been crazy," Pikachu noted.  
"This is a good hamburger," Ash said.  
"Anyway!" Jesse sighed. "He's always been kind of gay, right? Always wearing dresses around, and all. Well I never knew it was so serious until just today. He's wearing a tutu and has decided he's a duck."  
"HAHAHA!" Ash laughed. "A duck! What a retard!"  
"And he has duck powers!" Jesse continued. "He thinks I'm a goldfish!"  
Misty exclaimed, "You mean a fat goldfish!"  
"WHAT?! I am NOT!"  
"The truth can set you free," Pikachu told Jesse.  
"What is wrong with you people?" Jesse screeched. "I am sorrounded by crazy people!!!"  
"That's okay," Pikachu patted Jesse's arm. "We're starting a circus. Want to be the sideshow freak?"  
"What is it with you people and circuses!"  
"Ooh, I'd like to start a circus!"Misty squealed.  
(Jesse runs away screaming)  
"Aww... Too bad," Brock frowned.   
"Hey look!" Pikachu pointed in the distance. "A giant duck!"  
"Pikachu, I need to take that ketchup from you now. There is no such thing as a giant duck," Ash declared.  
"He's wearing a tutu!" Pikachu continued. "And so is Brock!"  
"I am nooot!" (Brock ducks behind a bush).  
"Oh hello Giant Duck! I am Brock! Nice to meet you!"   
"You is pretty!" the duck quacked.  
"Why thankyoooou!" Brock said. "Did you hear that? The duck thinks I'm pretty!"  
"That's it!" Ash exclaimed. "I'm going to bed." 


	3. Talking 2 An Acorn

"I am a giant duck," Said the duck.  
"Reeeally?" Brock exclaimed. "Do you like bubbles?"  
"I like bubbles!"   
"Oh," Brock thought to himself, quietly.   
-A giant duck. Likes bubbles. Wears a tutu.  
"Do you make bath times fun?"  
"I'm the one!"  
(Pause)  
"RUUUUUUUBBER DUCKY!" Shouted Brock. "It's Yooou!!"  
Brock is in tears....  
"I MISSED YOU!!!"  
"Gaah! You have angered the duck!" Shouted the giant duck. "Now I must use my duck powers against you. I am very sorry but I have to."  
"help!" shouted Brock, running from the angry duck.  
"Help me!" He shouted, looking around for a place to hide. "Ahah! Ash's tent!"  
(Runs inside)  
"Help! Ash! A giant duck wearing a tutu who likes bubbles and makes bath time fun and has duck powers is trying to hurt me-e-e-e!"  
"Brock, I was SLEEPING! And you wake me up with more of this stupidness!"  
"There is a duck trying to kill me! He is wearing a tutu!"  
"Geez Brock... Here, eat some pokefood and shut up."  
(banging on the tent)  
"I throw sticks at you! My stick is big! It scratches you and fufufufu!"  
"Ok," Ash admitted. "I am quite scared now."  
"Eat chicken from my arm pits," The duck continued.  
"But you're a duck!" Brock shouted.  
"And I like KFC! Hahahahaha." (rolls head back insanely).  
Ash peeks his head out of the tent.  
"I hope you don't mind, but I'm actually trying to sleep."  
"Oooh," The duck grumbled. "I'll have to irritate you in the morning."  
*The duck curls up in a ball and starts to snore*  
Ash jumps out of the tent.  
"Yes! He's asleep! Now we can run for it!"  
*Ash grabs tent and stuff and runs for it*  
Unfortunately, Ash steps on a pickle and falls on the ground.   
"Darn it," He exclaimed in a less than -darnit- tone of voice.  
Ash gets up and begins to make for it again*  
Unfortunately, Ash steps on a mushroom and falls on the ground.  
"Darn it," He exclaimed again in a less than -darnit- tone of voice.  
Ash gets up and starts to go for it again*  
Unfortunately, Ash steps on a Misty and falls to the ground.  
"Dangit Ash!" Misty shouted. "Why do you always have to do that when I'm masticating?"  
"Dude, you were MASTURBATING?" Ash's eyes bulged. "You are suuuch a FREAK!"  
"I didn't say that! Masticating means CHEWING, stupid!"   
"It's okay, Misty, I won't tell anyone... or not... mufufu.."  
"UGH!"   
"Mufufu."  
"UGH!"  
"Mufufu."  
"UGH!"  
"I like llammas," Pikachu added.  
"Hey Pikachu, I'm trying to run away with the tent and stuff before the Giant Duck wakes up.  
"Good idea," Pikachu nodded. "One problem."  
"What?"  
"Brock's still in the tent."  
"I know," Ash whispered. "I figured things would be more sane around here once he shut up and slept for a while."  
"Hmm," Pikachu said thoughtfully. "What about you, Misty?"  
"m-ME?" Misty asked.  
"No, I was asking my pet hamster."  
"Dude, you ARE a pet hamster," Ash said.   
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Pikachu said, quietly.  
"What do you say we ditch him AND brock AND the giant duck?" Misty asked.  
"The smartest thing I've heard all day... except my own voice. Oh, I'm so adorable."  
*Misty and Pikachu make a run for it, Ash follows*  
*5 HOURS LATER*  
The giant duck uncurled himself.  
"Oh look, mommy, i wet myself.. I need diapey, mommy! Mommy. Mommy... Mmmf..."  
"MMf," He said again, trying to wake up.  
"My tutu is stealing my nitrogen intake. How rude," He commented to nobody in particular.  
"I think I need to find Jesse," It decided.  
"Right, Acorn?"  
"Of course, Giant Ducky. You're so beautiful," The acorn continued.  
"Why thankyou, acorn. I think you're beautiful too."  
"Really?"  
"Yes, really."  
"I don't think you look like a ducky," The acorn said.  
"I don't?" Gasped the Giant Ducky.  
"You really look more like a ducky wearing a tutu. I think you're actually a Pokemon."  
"Ooh. You think so?"  
"No, but I bet you'd make a good Goldfish," The acorn tilted itself. "Yes, a very good goldfish."  
"I like bubbles," Said the Giant Ducky. "I am a goldfish who can live out of water, glub glub. Super goldfish!"  
"You are a very beautiful giant goldfish." The acorn hopped away.  
"I must find Jesse," Thought the Giant Goldfish, "and tell her of my discovery..."  
  
TBC...  
  
  
  
Skitzophrenia is a great disease, especially with James. Isn't insanity great? 


End file.
